So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
