just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
