Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
