does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This is the high leading the old right now
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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