Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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