Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
