I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
