oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I supernannyed him into submission
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