I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Boobs are out for the taking
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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