I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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