You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
honey bunches of taint.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
