I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize