life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize