the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
ugly people sure do ruin things
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
