just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
