The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
it's like iHOP with fire
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
