even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
you made out with another girl for some wings
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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