I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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