Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
