Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I had to cum in my sink.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
