this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
