he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
