And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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