i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
