if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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