i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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