Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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