I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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