i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
someone owes me an orgasm
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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