Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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