your parents love me but you hate me
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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