I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I am in a vortex of obligation.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
