I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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