waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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