That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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