So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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