i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
