sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
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