At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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