Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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