dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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