i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
