OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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