thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
