My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We had to coat check the pizza.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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