Sry I called you an 8
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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