I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
