Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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