No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
