The maid of honor just puked.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I came so hard my ears popped.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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