you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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