I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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