Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
