he wants to bone in the snuggie
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
